My thin Obssesion

blah i should update more
but i rather post in communities
were doing disease project in HEALTH and i got diabetes beacsue we have to do a disease that runs in our family I wanted to do somethign eatting disoders sinceit runs but blah w/e life sucks i'll live
i just realzied how boring diabetes is
no offence to people
but its not the most exciting think out their
yeah schools been okay getting a fucking b in CHEM that sucks but other than that a's
so eatting wise i've bene out of ccontrol
i eat and obviosuly go and dispose of it.
but since i LOVE to munch on in school through out the day its SO hard to do that my teachers i think are getting more and more suspicious that i go "pee" so much haha
idk i think its stress thats making me eat and not sit down and write a new diet plan.
i just DONT HAVE THE time to writ eout and count all the calories.
uihhaskljdaskl jdai suck at life
lol
i acnt wait tillim 16 fiannly a job
but i think it'll be iin mac donalds but after watching supersize im good to go and make fun of people ( secretly) who eat there that those fries will leave fat on there thighs
blah
yeah
idk what else to write
hmm
i was looking at pictures form the wedding this summer
and i looked realyl good
I NEVER THINK I LOOK GOOD
sure i wasnt the thinnest or nethign but that 21 day fast did wonders! but of course
i bloated back up
stupid yo yo
so yeah i should go do HW now lol hahah
<3<3<3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGuMfibxzQk

hey so i dont liek updateing here becasue i dont know i feel like i am talking to myself and that is kinda creepy so i rather post ot a community im online everyday so don't worry about that that i am becoming MIA haha but yeah i just don't liek updating here : ;/
so i'll stop now ! hahaha
jglabinski@dsl.poltel.us < if anyone wants to talk
lilblondie1847 < aim
mhmmmm
stay strong girls !
:] <3

ahh so i havent been on in awhile i know : [ but w/e now i have more time lol
well the wedding went well :]
i actully think i looked nice ! lol
so yeah im on a diet now noshit
it basiclyl consits of
breakfast around 400 cals
lunch around 300
dinner around 500
which is A HELL OF alot but i have to cut down slowly rather than go straight into 0 cals and giv emy body a shock so i';ll go a week liek this tan each week i'll cut down around 200-300 cals
soudns goo d?
mhm :)

hey so i havent updated in year but thats cuz im kinda not in the mood too and sorta buzy lol okay so basciily this is whats going down....
today i am leaving for the farm to pack up my horsesss and leave for texas
on monday in texas
and next saturday i leave for poland
aug 4th i have the wedding
i tried on the dress and it fits perfectly whcih kinda sucks cz i wanted looser but i stillhave bit of time but i have to eat cuz of competion but whatever umm yeah aug 5th i leave for themountains in poland and on aug 19th i am coming back bitxhs
thats whats going down
text me!
wish me luck !
<3

blah it was a semi bad day it coudl have been worce but it SHOULD have been better ! ickters
tomarrow i start showing today was the "get to know" people haha yeha right theres liek 1000 riders but at least were broken off into catagories which also kinda sucks cuz im i nthe 15- 18 group which means im the youngest and yeah but we'll see out sills tomarrow lol so this is what y schedule looks like for the next 2 weeks ( give or take)
Tuesday-Thursday 6 events per day jumping and dressage
Friday-Sunday 3de cross coutry about 10 miles ick
Monday-wednesday 2 jumping 1 dressage 1 performance, 3 halter (per day )
Thursday jumping 8 classes
Friday Dressage 5 classes jumping 7
Saturday walk through fianl jump off's
Sunday awards (if any )
god me mureno and zitano are gonan be pooped and stressed outttt maximus
feel sorry for my mom and those 2 guys who tagged along im goona be a stressed out starbucks less tierd bitch
lol
<3

okay ! so hmm lots to tell basiclly ! im not at home but on the road to horse shows thank god for the internet and labtops! lol so this weekend i was with my sisters and whoa it was werid we ate a lot...... and ran a lot. lol so i think i sumwhat balanced out. no not really lol i had a lot of peanut butter but im not too madat myself becasuei know i can back on track this week :)
it's going to be buzy buzy so not time to really pig out lol
ohh i also found out that (get ready for this ) brothers wife, cousin's best friend brother's came to american one is 17 and one if 14 i saw pictures and whoa baby. super hot :) lol and they wanted to come to indiana with us lol wow.
so umm yeah
thats it for now kid'o's
<3

okay so i didnt have as much cereal as yesterday but i had more than i shoudl of but thats okay i guess. I still can't swim or ride horses cuz of my infection grrrrr.
today i had
B- cereal+milk
L- 1 and a half drumstick no skin grilled and 2 pieced cracker bread and some grapes
for dinner i'll have grapefruit
and thats it for tonight !
tomarrow is the last day of summer school thna im off to my sisters house
im not that worried about eatting becasue both my sisters are goign to be there and there always on diets competeing lol
i'll stay there till sunday and than monday no summer school just horses and swimming
on tuesday i leave to indiana for horse shows and i'll be back imn about 2 weeks
and yeah :)
<3
ohh ps i coudlnt help myseld nadi tried on my bridemaid dress and it's looser:))))

okay so im actully finding time to update this more and more... hmm i have no life... lol jk
so yeah i kidna did bad today and im half pissed half not becasue
i found out i have a yeast infection (srry for details) but yeah it hurts like a bitch down "there" and so yeah i wont be going to horses OR swimming today or tomarrow thats how bad it hurts....
so tahts no exersize basiclly
and to top it off i have about 2.5 servings of cereal and milk for breakfast so it wasnt a total binge but w/e
im back on teack im eatting some grapes some chiken and a piece of cracker bread and than i'll eat some more grapes later and thats it for today. yep
blah
ouch
im outttt

whoa i actully have time to go on this lol
i wonder if anybody actully reads what i write lol well anyyyway.
so yeah i'be been doing really good lately and im really proud ogf myself well than again i have my swim coach who we tell her everyday what we ate and we have monday weighs in's so i kinda have to do good :)
today i had.......
B-kellogs cereal + milk
L-chicken and wasa crackers
and i'll have a BANANA before swiming nad imtrying ot debate weather i should eat some fruit after swimming i didnt yesterday and i was okay :)
i havent tried on my dress yet again(bought it last week ) and last week it was prettyy tight i guess im kind of scared to because i've been workign hard andi dont want to try it on and be disapointed=/but yeah my clothes have been pretty lose on me lately sooo i decided i WILL try on the dress on Monday!!! and we'll seeif i cry or not lol
soooo
hmmmm
what else
Summer school is ending this week thank god idk what i'lldo at home for liek 4 horus before horses and swimming but not eat LOl
oh yeah i have like 20 something days before texas *shivers* and than offfff to poland and wedding yipee:)
everybody stay strong :) <3<3<3

okay i've been super buzy lately and i havent been on a lot so yeah anyway things have been going pretty good i go to swimming and horses every day summer school is almost over which means sleeping in :) ehhe weight wise eh not 2 bad i dk if i mentioned it before but i had to buy is a size to small and its my cuzims wedding so I HAVE TO fit into is becasue it cost a lot and wlel yeah so thats what keeps me from eatting and it weorks now when i actully fit into it i have to figure out a new insperation so yeah i speant the weeked at my sisters house nad going back this weekend than 4th of JULY on the farm with a couple horse shows :) and ya im excited a little :) im leavig to texas in about 25 days ehich means poland about 29 which menas to paris for the weddding in about 30 so i have 30 days to fit into my dress im gonna try to lose 10 pds at least of coursremore is good lol so what i do it eat cereal for breakfast
chicken and a salad and some fruit for lunch
than have a banan before swimming
and a coupel grapes after i burn about 600 cals swimming and 1300 cals for lving so im buringin it off WISH ME Luck got to go swim no :) ! lol <3<3<3

okay so i havent been updateing because i am on my other journals/facebook//myspace ANYWAYYYYYY
things have been upppp and dowwwwwnn
but i started swim training
and horse training
and yeah
our siwm coach
decided to start a weighr system
and it'ss pretty rough( form what iheard) i get it tomarrow and the first weigh in is tomarrow!
ahhh
blah
yeah :)

so yeah havent been posting here much cuz im way to lazy
i've had a hard coupel weeks
but started up again.
neway.
i start hard core swimming june 11th excited.
and i jsut foudn outim going to be a maid of honor
for my friend in poland( 17 years old !!!) this summer. my brother will be the ringer barrer( haha random) but anyway she gave me a lsit of dresses she likes and we decided on this one....
bascllty i can not be fat. nope
http://www.davidsbridal.com/social_dresses_detail.jsp?stid=2328&prodgroup=54

basiclly u can say i am scared shitless

okay
hey everyone
been doing
eh
not 2 good
but it's been worce
tomarrows plan

cornflakes
Banana
Wasa
total300
sounds good

hey everyone everythings been going pretti okay i guess:]
yesterday i was watching the tyra banks show and...
tehre was this like church of thin or w/e about loesing wegiht from the help of god i was watching it and i realzied that the people where doing many ... ED tenendcys
cutting food into many little pieces
taking sips of water/diet coke in between
idk jsut seemed a little strange to me but w/e!
argh im so happy esterday i was at my sisters house and shes like i havea surprize for you
she got me a new LV bag :0
iw as prettoi damn excited:D
stay strong girlsss
<3

so it's my 2nd day of the 2468
my throat hurets like a bitch
idk what im gonna do
on the bright side its aazing what you can dowith 400 calories lol
im eatting today....
boca burger
rice
bag of popcorn
orange
tomato
it all turns up under 400! lol
and tomarrow is 600
it's liek mini binges and youstill lose weight buahhaha
but yeah my throat hurts i wan t to eat a caugh drop but imscared
of the calorie content so yeah : [
aarghskiwuvnlah
stay strong lvoes
<3

k so on friday i was caught shopplifting
lets just say i let myself go this weeeknd
i ate and i never felt full
untill
now.
i feel liek i cant move im so blah
disgusting
so im over the whole stealing thing
and have to get back on track.
doing the 2468 this week
2 is tomarrow obviosuly....
neway havent deicded what to eat yet but yeah
<3

arg i feel like giving
where has all my willpower gone?
stupid fuxking hunger
arg
neway im deff not eattign nemore today 
tomarrow ....
B-banana
L-Apple
D-orange
the pit after school
yeah wish me luck 
sighi really want to finish this week and move on to the next diet
im thinking 2468?
what u think?

So today
i ate
B- prunes(100)
L- Apple (80)
D-Orange(80)
          total= 260
 went to the pit burned random calories so i dnt knw the total but yeah i deff burned of what i ate
so i have my weak moments
and now im feelign kind weak
i knwo i can make it today
btui am terrified of tomarrow
i know i will eb hungry and i havea feelign my brain will take over like it did before
ahhhhhhhhh
I CAN'T EAT
antm is on today !<3
i'll post back later with toamrrows plans<3

So today was horrible
horrible
HORRIBLE
why can't i stay on track
so yeah.
tomarrow is a new day i guess
well ofc ourse it is and i will getr better but because i did mess up today i can't eat normally on sunday guess that suckign sucks for me.
its what i deserve.
so yeah 
i feel a little better
tomarrow its bak ion the fruit diet. 
yup
<3